As human beings we tend to need answers. We don’t like to leave the feedback loops open in our brains. Without closure we feel uncomfortable walking away from unfinished projects, unfinished chapters (both writing and reading them), and from events/situations that don’t make sense. This is particularly true when it comes to traumatic experience.
Many people will get stuck in asking “why” something has happened and therefore get stuck in their traumas. It is hard to move forward through grief when we can’t get past the “why?” From my experience it may help us when we (think) we have the answers, but in reality we may never be able to answer this question. How can we possibly make sense of some of the things that happen in this world? Some things just don’t make sense. The sooner we can accept this the sooner we will be able to leave the puzzle pieces where they fall. And besides, through trauma we have to ultimately create new puzzles as that is the nature of loss…there will always be a piece missing after a traumatic experience because trauma involves loss.
I hope you get the answers you need but be careful not to fill in the gaps simply to fill them in…creating story can lead to other issues that involve self-blame or helplessness.
Walking away from the “why” may be hard but the reality is you may get new perspectives if you do. At the very least you will be one step closer to creating a new puzzle all together.
