….one that tells you the truth.
Years ago my mentor told me a story that I pass on to the therapists that I now train and supervise. The story has to do with a booger.
My mentor had a client come into his office early on in his career. The client was talkative, open, and eager for feedback during the session. And the client also had a booger on his face. My mentor, a new therapist at the time, didn’t know how to address it without making the client uncomfortable and unfortunately chose not to address it at all.
At the end of the session, the client left and went to the restroom down the hall from the therapy office. After a few moments the client came back and told my mentor immediately that he was fired! When asked why, the client stated “I had a booger on my face the entire session and you didn’t tell me about it! How can I trust that you are going to tell me what areas of my life need some work if you can’t even tell me I have a booger on my face!”
Bruised but eager to learn, my mentor learned a valuable lesson that day. People do not want to go to a therapist (or even a good friend) and be comfortable and told what they want to hear. People, from my experience, want to know where their blind spots are and gain perspective that they may not have had otherwise. Most are willing to be uncomfortable because they understand that growth can be hard work.
When you are looking for a therapist make sure it is someone that will not only reflect back your strengths, but one who will also reflect back places where you need to grow…even if it is uncomfortable.
This is a therapist you can trust.
