I usually discuss how there is a difference between being victimized and being a victim. But I realize that there are a lot of people who struggle to get out of the victim pit and sustain it.

I think we have to be careful with passing judgement on these folks because we don’t know what it is like to be in their shoes…not really. We don’t know where others have been and what they have experienced. We are all different and handle trauma in different ways as a result.

That is all true and so is the need to keep working to get out of the hole once and for all. We can’t grow if we feel helpless to our situation. We can’t heal if we believe that we are destined to be hurt again and again….And not to mention this belief is dangerous for those who continue to actually be victimized.

Start looking around and expand your world and encourage others to do the same. You are entitled to sit or fall down from time to time…but don’t stay down too long otherwise you may be tempted to stay down.

Know you are slipping into victimhood when you start to feel like there is nothing you can do to create the changes in your life that you want to create.

Know you are slipping into victimhood when you don’t feel like there are any solutions. There are always solutions…you may simply be in a hole and forgetting how to problem solve. You are in a hole!

Know you are slipping into victimhood when you take everything personally and assume that the world revolves around you. Our world is small when we are in the pit…step out of it and remember that other people have their own issues and aren’t spending all their time thinking about yours.

Know you are slipping into victimhood when you are getting payoffs for staying a victim. Maybe you like the attention you get from others? Maybe you get to justify addiction? Be honest about possible payoffs and what you are doing to stay in the hole. Then…and only then will you be able to step out of it.

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