When I do yoga (never as much as I would like) I always enjoy hearing from the teacher at the beginning of class. These kind souls always have words of wisdom that I can take with me through my practice.  I appreciate the prompts alongside the movement.

One class that is particularly memorable for me started with a lesson on “unbecoming.”  The lesson was about how life is not really about becoming anything or anyone, but rather about a shedding of unkind thoughts about ourselves.  I know that as a therapist many of these thoughts (and insecurities) come from traumatic experience. In this context growth is not about becoming anything but rather a shedding of sorts.

As I bring this idea to my clients I discuss one of the key principles of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy.  IFS therapists believe that we have many parts (think child part for example) that can go offline through the tumultuous events in our lives.  We are born good and whole but eventually the offline parts (now burdened through our grief and loss experiences) eventually step forward and who we are can become buried as a result.

Remembering what (who) is buried is important and this part has many names:

The Inner Advisor

God Part



Wise Mind

The Inner Counselor

The Guide

…The Self

Working to unburden ourselves so that our inner light can come fully into the room is the process we are all in on the journey…not just unbecoming the versions of ourselves that do not serve us but actually unburdening the parts that hide our true nature.

One last thought on this….be kind to the offline parts that have buried who you truly are…these parts think they are protecting you by keeping you hidden.  Have gratitude as you ask them to step aside.  You’ve got this.

Speak Your Mind


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