You were victimized, but you are not a victim.

It is easy to fall down the rabbit hole at different times throughout our recovery. Whether it is recent trauma or activation that feels like fresh trauma our world can become small as it collapses around us. As perspective shrinks we are at risk of taking on things that are not ours, taking perceived slights personally, and can believe that everyone around us is as critical of us as we are of ourselves. We can feel helpless, feel continually victimized, scared about what is going to happen next, and can berate ourselves for falling into the hole in the first place.

When we are in victimhood we forget who we are. We forget that we have power over our own thoughts and actions, that no one else gets to define us, and most importantly that we are survivors of many things. We have learned resilience, compassion, and gratitude through all of it. Remember who you are and remember your strength.

Yes, you were victimized and what happened should never have happened. But it did. You deserve to be loved, treated with respect, and to live a life full of whatever it is that feeds your soul. You have been victimized but you are not a victim. Only you get to define who you are and take your next steps accordingly. This is the opposite of trauma, acknowledging what matters to you, how you feel, and developing a plan to go after it. You are bigger than all of it.

Changing the View

Think about a time you have been victimized and write a few sentences about what happened, who was involved, and how you were impacted. Now write a paragraph about what you learned through your experience. What is the compassion you have for yourself based on how you were impacted? How are you bigger than all of it?

Speak Your Mind


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