Loosen The Grip
A client recently reminded me about the importance of letting go as an ongoing process versus something we only do to work through the difficult times. We have to stay intentional about our desire to loosen the grip regardless of the season we may find ourselves immersed in. Stay with me as I talk about this through the context of getting our energy back.
Let Go Of Self-Judgement
At the times I am struggling with past or current events, I can tend to beat myself up with how I am dealing with the various challenges I face. At these times the "I'm not good enough" thoughts catch fire and blaze through my skull as I deal with the activation of the moment. Now there are times where I may give myself grace and time on the side of the road, but it is usually short lived as I tend to force myself back up whether I am ready to get up or not. There is this need to be perfect even in times of grief and despair. Our intention to loosen the grip is certainly applicable when we are struggling with perfectionism. Letting go of this ideal is a wonderful way to get some of our energy back. Stop judging yourself so harshly for not being further ahead then you are. Sit on the side of the road longer if you need to . You will get back up.
Let Go Of Future Worry
Other times that I work on loosening the grip involve the times that I find myself waiting for the next shoe to drop. Once we have been through something it is normal to try and avoid falling down again in the future. But we have to be intentional about staying in the moment so that we can enjoy it versus always looking around the corner. I am motivated to stay in the moment because I understand that to worry about any potential future hurt robs me of the joy of being here now with the people that matter to me. Holding on to tightly actually prevents me from living fully and from being present in my own life. Find joy and have gratitude. Turing off the fear part of our brain is difficult. Be patient with yourself and come back to the moment. The practice of gratitude always brings us back.
Let Go Of The Need To Control
Many of my clients can tell me the exact moment (usually a painful one) when they made the declaration "never again." Never again would they be out of control, vulnerable, or caught off guard. They have associated vulnerability with abuse. This may be a natural response to trauma but it is also a shortsighted one. We cannot control anything or anyone outside of us yet so many of us move through life as if we can. "Never again" can lead to passing on relationships that could have been great or venturing into unknown territory and opportunity out of fear of rejection. Things have happened and they will continue to happen. Change is the one constant and just sitting in that truth allows expansion and energy to flow.
Clear Reflections
What are you struggling to let go of?
Would it help you get energy back if you were able to stop judging yourself, turn off future worry, and only focus on what is in your control? What steps could you take right now?
How can you continue to loosen the grip as an ongoing practice?
Let me know about what works for you as you loosen the grip at kimjohancen@yahoo.com.
Be well.
