Clear Reflections

Finding The Kind Side Of Hurt

As we think about energy conservation it is important to take a good look at how we deal with the spectrum of emotions after a big fall.  It is important to be kind as we make our way.  Grief is not linear and we can cycle through the various stages of grief over and over again as we make our way through recovery.  Staying in this spin cycle can be exhausting mentally, physically, and spiritually.  What makes this experience even more draining is how we judge ourselves harshly for how we move through grief.  Overwhelmed, many of us say and do things that are typically out of character and leave us questioning everything.  If people around you don’t understand grief and what you are going through then they may also throw judgements our way.  Their judgement won’t help and will only serve to drain you even more.  You may have to disengage from these folks for now..or indefinitely.

I am not telling you that you are excused from your behavior if you act poorly out of grief.  You are ultimately responsible for what you do even if you are acting out of anger and sadness related to loss.  But see the wounds for what they are.  Deal with them effectively and stop beating yourself up for having them.  Self-blame happens through grief both for what happened and for what we do as we heal.  But I don’t want you to beat yourself up to the point that you are unable to keep going, that you come to believe that you are a bad person, or to ever doubt that you have done good things.  

You are a good person because you exist.  

You are a good person because you have done good things.  

You are a good person because you are beautifully imperfect.  

You are a person in grief.

I will continue to give you tips on how to get your energy back.  You will need it. But we have to be kind to ourselves along the way.  Judging ourselves harshly won’t help it will actually just ensure we stay right where we are in the mess.  Let’s find the kind side of hurt together.  

Clear Reflections

What are you feeling guilt or shame about through your grief?

What is the compassion you have for yourself through these events/behaviors?

What do you need to do differently as you heal?

Start now.


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