How to Manage the Space Between Where You Have Been and Where You are Going

It can be a horribly painful experience to sit in the gray, that space between the door that has closed and the other one that has yet to open. We are painfully aware of what we have lost, but maybe it is not so much the loss itself as much as the echo of what was that feels tender, those constant reminders that something has changed or been locked away. This experience can leave us feeling the constant pulse of grief, helplessness, and afraid of what other challenges may be coming.

In reality we may know that there are numerous doors to walk through once one has been sealed shut. The blind faith of possibility can keep us going even when we are uncertain of what is to come. But in the midst of our grief it can be difficult to access this truth when it remains out of our immediate vision. Fixed only on the clarity of what happened without a picture of what is to come can elevate both past and present anxieties and self-doubt.

You Already Know What to Do

…Because you have already been here. Think about the things that have happened in your life before this. All those events, challenges, and circumstances that you could not predict but moved through anyway. You are resourceful, capable, and will find a way through whatever is to come as you move forward. Have faith in yourself and in the doors you choose. Know that whatever new adventure is waiting will begin to sharpen around the edges as it moves into focus. You will get through this.

You Know How to be Still

Part of what is required of you in the “in between” is to know that all you have power over is what you may find in this one particular moment. If you are perseverating on what has happened while also obsessing about what is to come, then you are destined to remain powerless. The only control I have remains in this moment, what I am doing now, and perhaps what I will do next. That is it. It is okay and perfectly human to think a step or two ahead (or behind), but do what you can to stay present, connected to yourself, and others around you.

Whether you know it or not you are inching toward your future one step and one breathe at a time. New doors will eventually open, moving us further away from what is no longer possible while also moving us toward what waits on the other side. In the mean time we can hold steady in our ability to cultivate patience while also observing the growing excitement as we expand into possibility.

Clear Reflections

Write about what it means to live in the gray. What steps do you need to take to continue finding strength and purpose while you move toward a new door?

What is something you have survived the you did not feel prepared for in the past? What strengths, resources, or abilities allowed you to find success in those previous struggles?

What is beyond the door you are walking toward this very moment? Who will be there? What will you be doing?


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