As a therapist I have learned to pause if I am seeing the same patterns, issues, presentation, etc… in my clients session after session. Because these patterns may be saying more about what is going on with me rather than what is going on with my clients. At these times my interactions with others are colored more by what is happening inside my own skin versus what is actually happening. We all have our blind spots and as one of my dear mentors used to say…we are all in the soup together.
I think catching the moment when my own edge is revealed is important in my work as it enables me to think about where I am out of balance so that I can better tend to it. This allows me to get back into sync with my clients more quickly so that I can see them through an unobstructed view. But you don’t have to be a therapist to shorten the cycle of activation and get back on track.
Identify for yourself your own patterns of interaction. Are you finding yourself feeling like you can’t “ever” get what you want? Or that “everyone” is out to get you? Oftentimes these all or nothing statements indicate that we may be off course and slipping into old thinking…maybe even victim thinking.
Identify your thinking patterns and you will be more likely to identify the core issue/issues you may need to deal with directly. We always want to get to the source because that is where true change can happen.
